We Should Abhor Some Actions But Not Hate People

(Recognizing a Distinction between People and Actions

Most people by now have heard of the Arkansas school board member who on Facebook expressed the wish that homosexuals should die. His truly hateful outburst deservedly resulted in demands for his resignation, and, expressing regret for his statements, he did give up his post.

Statements like his, and the actions of the members of a tiny church in the U.S.A. who infamously parade signs like “God hates fags” at funerals are rightly to be condemned by right-thinking people.

On the other hand, we have had many examples of pro-homosexuality activists who characterize as hateful any criticism of their behaviour or of their attempts to use the schools as instruments to portray that behaviour in a favourable light.

It seems to this writer that the Arkansas school board member and his ilk and the homosexual activists mentioned are both examples of people who confuse two very different things: the strong dislike or abhorrence of an action with hatred for those engaging in the action.

Among Christians it is often stated that we should “hate the sin and love the sinner.” These exact words are not found in any particular verse, but the idea intended runs through the New Testament.

We do not need to bring in Christian teaching to recognize that it is entirely possible and indeed logical to disapprove of and even abhor what someone is doing and at the same time wish for their welfare. The wife who sees her husband descend into alcoholism and is seemingly powerless to stop him certainly can and often does still love that person, but abhors what he does and “hates” the forces that drag him down. (Of course it may be the husband who sees alcoholism drag down his wife.)

The parents who agonize over the hold that drugs have on their children frequently love their children to the point of being torn by distress, but they may truly be said to hate the actions that led their children to drug dependence.

One could go on and on, but the occurrence of love for the person and hatred for an action which characterizes them is so frequent as to make us wonder at the seeming perversity of those who state or imply that it is impossible. When people do go from hatred of an action to hatred of the person it may be the result of emotion blinding reason or overcoming a person’s better impulses. (Perhaps the English language is at fault here. Perhaps we need a different word for “hatred” when the object of hatred is a person, and hatred when the object is an action. There are synonyms for “hate,” but all those that come to mind can be used for a strong feeling against either a person or an action.)

In the light of the confusion--and sometimes, perhaps, the deliberate conflation-- of ideas with regard to the word “hate,” we need to exercise particular care when we speak against a certain behaviour or against propaganda to normalize it. For example, we need to make clear, when we are opposing homosexualist propaganda in the schools, that we are opposing it because of the harm it can do to students. People, no matter what their actions, are not defined by those actions. As long as we are in this world we are potentially capable of change, and so are those around us. Recognizing this should prevent us from dehumanizing others as in the sad case of the Arkansas school board member’s reprehensible comments.

[This essay was previously published on the British Columbia Parents and Teachers for Life website at www.bcptl.org .]
October, 2010